Firstly, most humble apologies for my apparent dissappearance since my last Blog. Frankly, I was so blown away by the hilarity and wittisim of my last entry (joke) that I didn't feel I could write anything to live up to it.
That is, until I went to Primark.
I don't know a girl who doesn't like Primark. Or, I should say, I don't anymore. For (I'm sorry to admit) I used to be that girl. I liked the bags and shoes - sure, who doesn't? But when it came to clothes I'm afraid I wasn't happy.
So frequent was the time that I saw a pretty summer dress on a friend and was told 'it was from Primark, £6, SUCH a bargain!' and then was faced with the diasppointment of trying on the dress and not being able to fit in even one boob that I started to give Primark a wide berth.
'They don't know how to dress the real woman,' I muttered. 'Primark clothes only look good on stick insects and plastic mannequins,' I fumed.
And I was right.
This weeked, faced with lots of free time, not much money and a desperate need for accessories, I decided to give Primark one more try. Could it have been the best decision I ever made?
As I walked in, I nearly fainted with shock at what lay before more: A whole section of stretchy body-con dresses to suit every shape in almost every colour of the rainbow; rails upon rails of cute playsuits sinched at the waist but slightly baggier on top and bottom in order to accomodate a more womanly physique; even lovely chiffon shirts (which granted, don't do up but look bloody good undone over the aforementioned body-con dresses.)
As hurridley as I could (and I was quick - my boyfriend wasn't in the mood to shop and he wouldn't wait outside forever) I gathered up every item I could carry and rushed to the till. I didn't even try it on.
I spent £150.
As you can imagine, in Primark - that equals a LOT of items.
In the car on the way home, the dread started to creep in. What have I done? I thought.
I needn't have worried.
When I got home I tried on my purchases and, to my surprise, each and every one fitted perfectly. I couldn't have been happier if I'd have been bought a puppy, won the lottery and been proposed to all in one day.
My only regret is that I didn't buy more.
So, big boobers, listen up. This phenomenon will not last long, and soon summer will bring the return of the dreaded floaty £6 dress.
But while it does, make sure you get yourselves down to Primark and shop.
It will be the best thing you ever do.